Ms Z - Part I
When speaking with a prospective client, I try to connect with them on a personal level. Learning more about them will help build a connection on a purely human level in understanding where they’re coming from and why. It’s essential to me in working with not only the “client,” but the person themselves.
One particular prospective client happens to be a writer who also blogs extensively. She is the friend of a customer who shared her experiences (and photos!) of the Boudoir experience she had with me, while out with a group of friends over brunch. During our initial conversation, she talked about how she started to write everything down about that brunch the moment she got home; her observations, her thoughts, and her feelings about it all.
I was extremely intrigued, and asked her if she would be willing to share that experience if I started a blog. This, ideally, would help people understand what others see and think when they’re trying to comprehend what Boudoir is all about; the different types of mindsets people have about it, the fears and concerns, the excitement, the architecture of the session itself...and even, to entertain.
After all, who doesn’t love a little light reading?
“You did WHATTTT?”
Ok...so my reaction was probably a bit exaggerated. Of my close-knit circle of friends, X has always been by far the wildest, most adventurous, and definitely the least inhibited.
But still, announcing WHILE pulling out a professional looking photo album, that she had “Boudoir” photos done to surprise her boyfriend was a bit shocking.
Especially just dropping it on us like this.
This is the first time I’ve seen my two best friends, in PERSON, since we were locked down thanks to COVID in March of 2020. Now here we are, actually having brunch together (since we’ve all finally been vaccinated,) something we had done at a minimum of once per month since we graduated college almost 30 years ago.
X and I knew each other in high school - but were never actually friends - just friendly. However when we discovered that we were going to the same college in the Fall, we became fast friends that Spring and decided to room together.
Y was our “3rd”.
As inhibited and occasionally out of control that X can be...Y is the exact opposite. She grew up in a very strict, Italian Catholic household, was very conservative, but also the most reliable, upright, and loyal person I had ever met.
As different as we all are, we compliment each other in the best possible ways; pushing each other to do better, to do more, to be happy, and to enjoy life.
I didn’t want to glance at Y, too afraid to see what I imagined would be a horrified expression. Instead, she raised her eyebrow and simply said, “Well - you’re obviously very proud of the outcome. Show us!”
X is beautiful and she knows it. With her Irish mom’s green eyes and freckles, and her Dominican dad’s Latinx complexion and shiny, thick, dark brown/almost black hair, she has always been told how “exotic” she looks. Never one to care about conventional American beauty standards, she’d always carried about 25 “extra” pounds - she was curvy and liked it that way. I had been jealous of her supernatural self-confidence from before we ever really knew each other. Just seeing her in the hallways in high school, it was impossible not to feel the waves of pure confidence radiating off of her. But it wasn’t something she held over others; she was also the first person to compliment other females and make them feel good about themselves.
It’s no surprise that she found great success as a Psychologist whose specialty is helping women after traumatic divorces. She has had two of them herself. But this new boyfriend is great. They fit one another perfectly. He’s a motivational speaker and trainer.
Still a bit stunned, I asked, “Soooooo - I guess quarantine had more of an effect on you than I thought!” We all giggled at that and then I asked, “How did you come up with this idea? Who took the pics? WHEN did you do this? And...how could you keep it a secret!”
X tossed her hair and gave us the look we were so used to seeing when she was about to disclose something she thought we would find scandalous.
“Well, as you know, Ed’s been in Cali for the last 2 months ever since their COVID numbers started going down. And soooooo many organizations and businesses and schools want him to come in and do all kinds of motivational seminars to get their people back in the game - I mean he literally hasn't taken a day off since he’s been there. And here I am on the opposite side of the country, right? So, I’ve been sending him a daily...picture..to keep the motivational speaker, ummm, motivated.”
We laughed - it wasn’t scandalous at all. At least not by X standards.
“It just so happened that the very day I was officially “fully vaccinated” - I saw a post on Instagram from this photographer named Vincent who specializes in Boudoir pics. I didn’t even think about it - I googled the name on Insta and called him right then! We spoke for like 10 mins and he sent me info. I booked the session the next day! He’s great. I figured if I felt immediately comfortable talking with this stanger about wearing lingerie, and being sexy and stuff, then he was the guy to take the pics for me.”
“So when was THAT?” I asked her, stunned that it couldn't have been all that long ago being that I know the date that she was considered fully vaccinated. Yet, somehow there was a finished photo album in front of me.
“Well, I called him on a Friday afternoon - 5 weeks ago now, I think - and we set the session for that Sunday! We talked about the vibe of the pics I wanted, about me and Ed, about what I wanted to be wearing or NOT wearing, about the music I would like to be playing - and then I think on Saturday I texted him a few questions, and he answered each one within like 5 mins. I swear you guys, I walked into his studio feeling so comfortable.”
She gave us the look again, and flipped to the first page.
I mean - WOW. From the very first picture, this guy captured exactly who X is. From page to page, the pictures told a story - told HER story. Anyone looking at these pics could get a glimpse into the woman X is.
They weren’t “dirty” pics, which is I guess what I was expecting. I mean, they were sexy as hell, and sensual, and erotic...but they were also incredibly tasteful, and classy, and GORGEOUS. Every angle captured X at her best, every ray of light seemed to be placed on or around her perfectly as if JUST for her, every shadow accentuated the intimacy of the moment - for her.
We’ve known each other 32 years; I’ve seen her naked hundreds of times (she is NOT shy). So while she wasn’t fully nude in any of the pics - there was always just a hint of it, or the nudity was through a sheer fabric or something - somehow these pics were MORE than seeing a woman’s nude silhouette or lingerie-clad form. They were words - they were a story - they were emotions, and feelings, and want and need. And they were love; love for Ed, of course - but also, love for herself.
It startled me. I was surprised to find my eyes watering.
I looked at X, then to Y, then back at X. “These are amazing! They are so YOU X! Wow - look at you. You are so beautiful,” I kept saying as I flipped back to the beginning of the book and started again.
X, as is her way, forcefully threw her arms around both Y and me and hugged us in close, “Thank god we’re all vaccinated because I was hugging you both regardless! I have to admit, I was nervous about bringing this with me today. No one else has seen them.”
Y finally said something. “X, you think THIS,” she said, lifting up the hefty album with two hands, “would make us judge you? Pffffft - we know allllllllllll your dirty secrets, girl. And we STILL love you anyway!”
We all laughed and Y and I immediately peppered her with questions about what the session was like. Y kept saying, “Oh, I could never do that!” and “Imagine what Kevin would say?” and “Oh jeez - we couldn’t have pictures like this in the house with 4 kids!”
But interestingly, she sure did ask a lot of questions.
I walked through the door of my little apartment about 15 minutes ago and immediately sat at my desk to write this all down. Why?
Because my 50th birthday is in 3 months.
Because I need to do something to kickstart the next half of my life.
Because since my divorce, and my last breakup, my self-confidence is nil.
And because, most importantly, I want to look at myself with the same awe that I looked at X today.
I want THAT.
I’ve been staring at this guy Vincent’s business card for the last 10 minutes trying to work up the courage to call.